I am a trampy entertainer by trade , and a mouthy bitch by nature . So if you don’t think artists should discuss politics , go back to reading about ” Who on ‘The Hills’ has cellulite!?” and go enjoy your fourthmeal .

Here’s Michael Moore’s two cents on the financial crisis:

“NOTHING in this “bailout” package will lower the price of the gas you have to put in your car to get to work. NOTHING in this bill will protect you from losing your home. NOTHING in this bill will give you health insurance.

Health insurance? Mike, why are you bringing this up? What’s this got to do with the Wall Street collapse?

It has everything to do with it. This so-called “collapse” was triggered by the massive defaulting and foreclosures going on with people’s home mortgages. Do you know why so many Americans are losing their homes? To hear the Republicans describe it, it’s because too many working class idiots were given mortgages that they really couldn’t afford. Here’s the truth: The number one cause of people declaring bankruptcy is because of medical bills. Let me state this simply: If we had had universal health coverage, this mortgage “crisis” may never have happened.”

Storm’s two-and-a-half cents:

He’s absolutely right about the healthcare issue . However , the reason for the banks shutting down is their fangs , though hollow tipped and adept at sucking , cannot get blood from turnips ….. try as they might .

Meaning , normal folks (like myself) were offered a chance to own our own home at outrageously low ( or no ) down payment with introductory rates that made mortgages seem totally doable . We , as home buyers , aren’t necessarily idiots , but it seems we did let life get in the way of our attention to detail .

That was our fault . 3 and 5 year arms expire , and suddenly , your $900.00 ” Dude it’s cheaper than my last apartment … ! ” mortgage for your three bedroom house goes up to what it is supposed to be ,(1200-1400 a month ) . We cannot cry foul because we KNEW our low low “what a screamin’ deal! ” mortgage was to last only three to five years . Buying a house is a complicated process , TONS of paperwork … and if you do something that huge and not know exactly what you’re in for , and you don’t know the difference between “fixed” and “variable” then shame on you .

Before the mess hit the news nearly a year ago about the mortgage crisis , people were getting ready to lose their homes . They KNEW their mortgages were going to go up and when . The lenders didn’t randomly change their fees on us , it’s in our paperwork . But here’s where the banks can stop blaming us and fucking off with their fang-ed selves .

When it was a nationwide situation that a vast majority of recently purchased homes were being foreclosed upon , the lenders and banks , who have shitloads of … what’s that thing called ? Oh yeah … INSURANCE … could’ve put a freeze on interest rates and worked WITH the panicking families instead of being all hardcore about getting them out of their houses so they could sell them to someone else .

Someone else being …. ? All those amazing deal loans were now dried up and lenders required a 10-20% down payment in order to feel comfy about giving a loan to anyone . Even though the mortgage situation had stalled real estate prices , in much of the country , prices even went down ,the folks who have $20- $40,000 in liquid assets looking for a new house weren’t super plentiful .

So the banks foreclosed like they were trying to win a contest . The average cost of foreclosure per house ? $250,000.00 (based on median prices) that’s what the banks paid to buy them back when no one else could … and this happened over and over again .The banks spending assloads of money buying back these friggin houses until … ” Hey , this is SUPER expensive …..we can’t really afford anymore … ummmm , can someone help a brother out ? ”

So here we are , homeowners and renters alike …. giving more money to those fucks . And unlike the squinty eyed evildoer in the old time-y films , who ties the blonde to the railroad tracks , they’ll get away with it . The smiling mountie on his horse isn’t going to ride in to save Nell , nope , Nells blond little brains will be mashed out by a big , greedy train while the mountie and the evildoer are 69 ing in a huge pile of bloody and brain soaked cash .

I have no idea what the whole financial crisis is about ( after all , I’m just a trampy entertainer , really….) but I do know a bit about real estate . I also know that we Americans really like to have stuff . Especially if it’s expensive . And for some reason , we spend like crazy and cry when the bill comes … well get some kleenex , ’cause here comes the waiter .

At least Chevron is still in the black . They work so hard , those kids .


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