Sam Adams , sex mayor .

The Mayor of Portland has lied to everyone and it is a damn shame .

I , for one , am shocked . SHOCKED to learn that a middle aged man was attracted to , wooed and then had sex with an eighteen year old . We are also talking about two men , here . The Mayor of Portland , Sam Adams , is the first openly gay mayor of a major metropolitan city .
It must just be a gay thing …. the young hottie and the lying . Who has ever heard of straight people doing that ? Older man, young , long legged bubblegum flavored giggle machine , hooking upĀ  ? Never happens . What would they even do ? Eighteen year olds don’t have sex ever with anyone . It’s science . Sure , they can go to the bathroom , but their sex bits don’t develop for a looong time . They have hinges , like Barbie and Ken dolls .
I think all that misguided ” Barely Legal ” porn will finally go out of businessĀ  in this economy because , DUH , no one watches it anyways . While we’re at it , how’bout girls gone wild , or the Hills . Girls don’t really get hot until forty . Everyone knows that .
If this is evidence of a gay mans nature , it makes no sense why gays want the right to get married . I mean heterosexual couples get
married , clearly , so they can keep having honest , repetitive sex with middle aged people … actually the same middle aged person over and over again ,
til’ death , and wrinkly butt cheeks , you part .
And the lying …. the terrible lying . Straight people are always honest when it comes to sex . When they want it , don’t want it , had it ,
hated it , thought about someone else while doing it … or just felt like jerking off into a fresh copy of “Rachel Ray Every Day!” magazine . The honesty in a straight , legally recognized , relationship is a solid granite foundation of heterodevotion .There are lies … little ones … but they are NEVER about sex .
Before he was The Mayor , Mr. Adams had been accused of statutory rape by another gay man with political ambitions . This other gay man
likes em’ a lot older , I’m told …. twenty-ish …. but anyways …. Mr. Adams had enjoyed some hot action one month after the young man’s eighteenth birthday . However , he lied and encouraged the young man to lie about it to protect his political future and the young mans privacy . So many lies ! Of course the difference between 17 and 18 was a solid month , but the difference between rape and inappropriate is massive . Still , Adams felt no one would believe that the young man was of tight , well muscled legal age and his hinges had started to blossom …. What wonderful American society , I ask you , with a black president , female astronauts and Perez Hilton , would deign to believe salacious gossip about hot man on man action between the gorgeous , Clark Kent looking Mayor and a rock hard strapping buck who was totally into him . I mean , it’s gossip …. we all know the difference between the truth and gossip .
A lot of people are calling for Adams to resign . I think he should stay . He has learned a stinging and difficult lesson about sex and lies and
being a public person . Maybe he can set an example to us all about overcoming a terrible mistake that he alone is responsible for . Everyone
in this great country makes mistakes and we are always honest and forthright about them all , every time , without exception . Our Mayor should do the same .


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