Christmas bitch .

Why must we strive to appease the perpetually offended ? It’s a losing battle . And I know I’m going to piss some folks off with this , but here goes .

The fact that there is even serious discussion about keeping Santa from Ho-Ho-ing … a common laugh sound guffawed publicly long before hip hop and Don Imus came along …is immeasurable stupidity . What next ? Ho downs , Ho-Hos , “Hi Ho ! Kermit Thee Frog here ? ”

If it’s upon some insistence by a woman’s group , I might seriously consider turning in my “Proud to Possess a Pussy ” card .

We want equality ? Then we must learn to roll . Fight for what really matters to women , better schools , health care for us and our children , stronger , longer sentences for ACTUAL sexual predators , resolving the endless expensive war that has claimed more than enough sons and daughters on both sides …..I can think of countless issues more worthy of my action than some motherfucking Jolly Old Elf !!! Picketing the North Pole crying foul against some imagined Kringellian offense only does harm to our ability TO fight for what matters . We look
like shrill , reactionary harpies mewling for attention . We become punchlines , people stop taking us seriously and thus , we lose our ability to effectively champion any real cause .

For those bitching overly PC dryboxes to whom I speak … get a fucking hobby . You do not represent me , do not presume that you do . Your insistence that HO-HO-HO is offensive and must be stopped is just as bad as those douche bags that want to take Christmas Trees out
of our Holiday lexicon . Unless the tree speaks up and says ” Praise Allah!” , and insists on facing east several times a day , or won’t light up on Friday after sunset …. IT’S A FUCKING CHRISTMAS TREE .

Look , I’m not religious , but I know enough about it that , in every monotheistic religion . God is better than us . “Better” meaning more wise , more powerful , more forgiving and WAY more loving than us . Why then , in God’s name , must we perpetuate our pettiness about Him
(or Her , or It …whatever) ? Why do we have to make God out to be some petty asshole full of our own human insecurity and bullshit ? In trying to emulate , honor or celebrate God , don’t you think being a big fuck face wouldn’t really be the way to do it ?

You celebrate in your way . Me ? I will decorate my CHRISTmas tree , send HANUKAH cards to my Jewish friends , sit my kid on Santa’s lap so he can get the full blast of his HO-HO-HOing . And mostly , I will share food , drink , hugs and stories with my friends and family . That’s
what this time of year is really about for me , giving and sharing , loving and celebrating . If you aren’t hip with that and you’d rather boycott things and make a stink about trivialities for your
( insert non-offensive , safe reference to something nice and neutral) Holiday , have at it …. celebrate away … sounds super fun for you . We all enjoy the season in different ways , so I’m not going to tell you how to or how NOT to celebrate , so long as you do the same for the rest of us .

Merry Christmas

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *