ACTION!

I’m a singer . I can sing in front of anyone . Any number of anyones … been doing it for nearly 20 years and will likely be doing it until my big fat head falls off …. and it will probably fall off while I’m on stage , singing .

Acting ? Scary .

I earned my degree in acting and performance in NYC at the American Academy of Dramatic Arts , but I was young , gloriously stupid ,and was pretty sure I sucked at everything BUT singing . I knew this , because when I would perform a song in class , the teacher would cry, give me an A , use me as an example and my fellow students would applaud and visibly marvel at my awesomeness . When doing a scene in acting class , however , I became so self conscious that I felt raw and swollen with weeping purple boils blurting from my flesh and my colon would go all hot and soupy . The teacher would yell (or worse… say nothing) , give me a C , and my fellow students would grow thinner and more beautiful in their seats, confident that they were WAY more awesome than me .

When Chris Coleman at PCS asked me to star as Sally Bowles last year in Cabaret, he had to buy me many lunches and lattes to get me to agree to do it .
It was acting . It made me fat and boil-y . However , I took the plunge and did it despite my fear (and potential adult diaper needs) . It was a fantastic experience .
Lovely people , physically stunning yet warm and caring . Plus I got to make out with super hot gay boys every day for about four months . Boing !!

When the same Chris Coleman asked me to write a one woman show of stories and songs , I became really hungry . It took about twice as many lunches and coffees as I dug my heels into the dirt trembling and sharting , whining “noooooo!!!!”
He finally convinced me (with the help of the calm steady voice of fellow director , Rose Riordan ) . Now ” Crazy Enough” is about to start rehearsals March 10th and will open March 31st . I’m glad I’m taking this step , but I’m fairly certain that on opening night I will have to stuff my pants with wads of brawny paper towels .

How I ended up being cast in a film , is not entirely clear . Jeezum Chrystler . A MOVIE ? With those unforgiving , fat fluffing cameras and all ? The fact is , with nary a meal , James Westby simply asked me to do it , and I agreed . He is a sweet and lovely guy , soft spoken and absofreakin’ lutely brilliant . He thought it would be funny to see me play ” against type” in his new film ” Rid Of Me” . It’s a dark comedy about a woman losing everything to a pack of khaki wrapped ex jocks and their Mary Kay wives… and my character . I’m a former cheerleader , home coming queen , twiffy BITCH FACE with super rich cunty parents and a fat mansion . And though in real-life , I’m almost technically a cougar ( or rather… a cou-GRRRRR) I’m supposed to be the juicy hot straw that breaks the lead character …. nay , shatters the little thing . The lead is played by Katie O’Grady, a hilarious and super focused actor , well on her way to many more bright and brilliant films . She is a treasure .

In fact , everyone in the film is dead on , funny , smart and not a boil in the bunch . The crew is a tight , even keeled machine . Shoots have been really fast and efficient , tons of material covered every day plus lots of riotous mishaps and ad libs
getting archived as well . Very pro despite the indie DIY nature of the project .

Are MY boils showing ? God I hope not . I really want to do a good job for James and Katie O , since they’re putting everything into this piece . Though I’m still self conscious , I’m doing my very best to hit home runs with all of my scenes ( I only have a handful ). Working in film is new to me , as was TV , musical theater and writing a theatrical memoir … but so far , it’s a blast , and I haven’t had an oops in my pants yet . So I got that going for me .

We shall all see in a few months how the film turns out and whether I suck or rule .
In the mean time…. GO COUGARS!

xoxoStormer